Why is it hard to forgive?
I’ve been reflecting on this question. We know forgiveness is something we are supposed to do – we’re taught that from an early age. We know it’s the RIGHT thing to do. We know that when we wrong someone and THEY forgive US that we feel an incredible sense of lightness and freedom.
So why don’t we forgive more easily?
In my previous post I talked about my “aha” moment that transformed my understanding of forgiveness. And because that “aha” moment came through seeing God’s direction in the “Our Father” – a prayer given to us by Jesus Christ I thought it would be a good idea to see what else Scripture had to say about forgiveness.
Turns out it says a lot.
“Say your sorry.”
“Now, accept his apology.”
Lessons about forgiveness start at a very early age. At least the formalities of forgiveness start at an early age. Any parent who has tried to coax a child to forgive a sibling knows that while the words, “I’m sorry” and “It’s OK, I forgive you” may be uttered from the mouths of babes, the narrow-eyed, mumbled, nose-flaring delivery belie the fact that forgiveness is not necessarily a heart decision. More a formality executed to comply with parental demand.
The reality is that many people bring that same mindset with them into adulthood.
A short and simple message – with great wisdom behind it.
When you can’t forgive someone, pray for them. It may or may not change them, but it will always change you.”
~ Andrew Pino
Releasing the power of forgiveness is an action – and a decision that is made every day. But creating a desire to forgive has to come before any other step. How do you do it?
I think the answer to that question is as unique as each individual and each circumstance. But I also think that a good place to start is with prayer. I was reminded of this when I received an email from someone I admire greatly who shared a letter from the pastor of her church. It relates specifically to the horrific violence that occurred in Newtown, CT last month, but the closing part of the message is something that I think is an excellent prayer for all of us as we look for the desire to let go of the negative and release the power of forgiveness.
It’s Not About Them. It’s About You.
Task 1: The Forgiveness List
Why forgiveness? Why THAT as a focus theme this year?
Because releasing the power of forgiveness can transform your life. And most people don’t realize how much they don’t understand about what it means to forgive.
It is my sincere hope that 2013 is a year that I focus on nurturing this blog – and building this ministry. I thought 2012 might be the year for that, but – poof – the year evaporated in a fog of busy-ness and fatigue and distraction …. and life.
Life happens – and sometimes it happens in big clumps of errands and chores and just keeping everything running in some semblance of order. We intend to do many things and if we’re lucky, at the end of the year, we can check a few of them off “the list.”
So what are you giving up for Lent?
I wonder how many of us have heard that question asked. Or perhaps when we saw “Ash Wednesday” on our calendars, thought to ourselves, what am I going to give up?
Yet how many of us stop to think about the “why” of Lenten sacrifice?
This article was the most-read blog post on HBR.com (Harvard Business Review). I hope you’ll find the advice as practical as I did. It’s all about what successful people do differently.
As I start to craft this post there are less than 12 hours left in this year. I debated whether or not to add to the blogosphere’s bloated offerings of end-of-year reflections. But when my friend referenced this site in HER wonderful end-of-year post, I thought I’d better at least have a little fresh content here.